Thursday, February 23, 2012


So I started back on chemo yesterday! Feelin ok! Still on steroids from the brain radiation, and I have never been fatter! My fingers and toes are sausages!!! And my belly feels 9months pregnant. Everything is tight, not water fat like when your pregnant, but tight/thick from steroids. Everyone says it will go away once I am done with the steroids, and boy do I hope so! Here is some more joys the steroids have done:
made my nose and ears bleed, my nose holes, earring holes, and ear holes are smaller. AND I can't stop eating! I am hungry ALL the time! I am trying to control myself, but let's just say it, sometimes I can't! I AM HUNGRY! Not to mention, my nice dark-sunburned blistered forehead, and big muscle lump on the back of my neck. It is all so weird, I DO NOT LIKE! But soon enough I will be off them and moving forward. Just something I thought I would post, so I can remember these days!

I am doing ok, still dizzy at times, and headaches, and WAY tired, but I am coping!

I had a friend from Seattle come visit over the weekend, which was great! John, I and Nikki all went to dinner and a play Saturday night and I wore a wig! It was fun, different as it has been 2months since I shaved my head, but I liked it. By the end of the night on the ride home it had to come off. Got a little itchy and HOT. But it was so nice to get out for a bit.
Notice the nice BIG cheeks! :)
Just wanted to clarify that the results I got on Friday were results on my liver, lungs, and chest wall. NOT MY BRAIN! I will find out more on the brain in 2 months. So my body is responding to chemo! YAY! YAY! YAY! Just to celebrate again!
FYI: My awesome wig was donated by Kelly Giblin from LemonadeLocks at Check-em out if you need a wig, they are amazing! THANK YOU Kelly and Kris! LUVS!

Friday, February 17, 2012


YAY! Just heard from the best doctor in the world, and he called with GOOD NEWS!
He said my CAT scan shows that the tumors have shrunk dramatically in size and in fact, some have gone AWAY! YAY! He was so excited to share the news and we were so excited to hear it! He was very impressed that they have responded so quickly! We couldn't be more excited! TIME TO CELEBRATE, a little! I start back on chemo on WED. THANK YOU THANK YOU for your continues prayers! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


So I am done with radiation FRIDAY!!! 2 more to go! YAY! I will stay on my medicine for 10 days after, but will hopefully get to feel a little better soon. Also, Friday morning before radiation I will have a CAT scan on my chest, liver, and lungs! So we will soon know how my body has reacted to the chemo. I should start back on chemo the following week. I wont have a MRI on my brain for 2 months, giving time for all the tumors to completely shrink and GO AWAY FOREVER!!! There is an end in sight. I cant wait to feel good!

Also, I seriously cant express how lucky I am to have all of you! I go to my appointments and talk to others and NO one, I mean NO one has the support, love, family, friends, and prayers that I do. People are amazed at my support! and so am I! I AM SO LUCKY! I could not get through this without you! I mean it!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Kids and Coping

Here are some pictures of me and my Log's on our date night! He took me on a date for ice cream and came to chemo with me one day! I think my kids are struggling so much and it is breaking my heart. So before this whole brain radiation thing, I was trying to get out a little with each of them. But so far only Log's and I got out. He is such a sweet heart! He drew me a picture one day and after he was done he said, "mom, is it okay that I put an angel in the picture?" I said of course. At the time I was glad that all 5 of us were in the picture and an angel was in the sky. Well as I was looking at the picture, I realized the day he drew this picture, was the day I went to see my OBGYN about the lump I had. I had put the date on the picture, as I knew it was something special. WOW! Aren't kids amazing! He just knew we have an angel or two watching out for our family. At the time I thought it was sweet, as I know there are always angels watching out for us. Now, I am in awe and absolutely love and cherish this picture. It means so much!
So, I am doing a little better with radiation. No throwing up, and I have color back in my face. But I am still WIPED OUT! It is kicking my butt! I am in such a fog ALL day! The steroids have helped me not be nauseous but, I still have a big headache, and I am on edge. I go to radiation, come home, eat, go to bed, roll out of bed to climb in my chair, sit there all day just blah, eat dinner, and then climb in bed to try and sleep for the night. I have major hot flashes, cold sweats, and everything is amplified! Sky's whines and tugging at my arm, the TV, the boys yelling, video games, etc. I can't just crawl into my bed and sleep, or sit and enjoy a hot tub, it just isn't the same right now. I just feel miserable and I hate feeling like this! I HATE IT! I do have such amazing support and have been SO appreciative of everyone that is here to help. It is the only thing getting me through it. Thanks for putting up with me, and "Loving me thru this!"

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Radiation Day #3

So this whole radiation thing is kicking my butt! I have had 3 treatments, and I can hardly open my eyes. Besides being super tired, I am also very nausea. Today I even puked! :( It sucks! I hate being sick. It has been so nice having John home with me this week. He has been able to take me to my treatments every morning and care for me and the kids throughout the day. He is one amazing man!
I get down there by 9:20AM and we are done by 9:35AM. It is a super quick procedure, that is hopefully working and worth the drive. I am instantly tired. I come home grab my pillows and blanket, sit in my chair and sleep all day. Barley eat lunch, then sleep some more. I try to get up and walk around for a bit, but due to the nauseousness, I am quickly back in my chair. I go to bed around 8pm and sleep ALL night, just to do it all again the next day.
Now that I have puked, I have to mention it to my doctor. Nausea, vomiting, and headaches are all signs that the brain is swelling, and I have them all. I was hoping to not have to go on steroids, as they mess with my blood sugars too much, but we will deal with that if we have to.
Thanks to all you that have brought dinners and treats! They are very much needed and appreciated. Also thank you so much for your continuous prayers, I certainly need them! LOVES!